Share your deepest secrets in your deepest friendships
When our friends have proven their loyalty and trust it is a sacred thing to share with them certain secrets that we have been carrying around as burdens – providing that those do not bring harm to ourselves, to them, or to any one else! However, there are so many times that many of us deny ourselves the opportunity to share what is burning within us out of fear.
Dumbledore suggested that Harry’s not telling any one the contents of the prophecy between he and Voldemort was “a wise decision on the whole”…”although I think you ought to relax it in favor of your friends, Mr. Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. Yes,’ he continued, when Harry looked startled, ‘I think they ought to know. You do them a disservice by not confiding something this important to them.’
“’I didn’t want to—
“’—to worry or frighten them?’ said Dumbledore, surveying Harry over the top of his half-moon spectacles. ‘Or perhaps, to confess that you yourself are worried and frightened? You need your friends, Harry. As you rightly said, Sirius would not have wanted you to shut yourself away’” (HBP 78).
And indeed, Dumbledore was right. After Harry told Ron and Hermione the contents of the prophecy he felt less like “an invisible barrier separated him from the rest of the world” (Order of the Phoenix 855). By sharing, Harry walks through another barrier, and discovers that it was a doorway that led to a deeper friendship.
“A warmth was spreading through him that had nothing to do with the sunlight; a tight obsruction in his chest seemed to be dissoloving. He knew that Ron and Hermione were more shocked than they were letting on, but the mere fact that they were still there on either side of him, speaking bracing words of comfort, not shrinking from him as though he were contaminated or dangerous, was worth more than he could ever tell them” (HBP 99).
This can be so hard. I imagine most of us have been betrayed by someone we thought was a friend we could trust. It is hard to confide truly important or personal things again after that. But Dumbledore is right; there are some things we should share with our very close friends. To not do so and hide such a big part of ourselves can hurt the friendship while sharing can bring you even closer together. I need to learn to be a bit more trusting like Dumbledore before I will be able to do that well… I still like to keep things to myself. And for some things that is fine, but for others, it is better to share. I’m glad Harry shared. It was the right thing to do.
Amanda, you’re right it is hard to trust. I usually feel that trust has to be earned and those who have I have no problems sharing my most deep and personal things with. It really does draw you closer, just as the trio drew closer after Harry shared with them. I have friends who have also shared personal things with me and it makes you feel honored and special.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron had, by the time of the fifth book, already been through so much together. It may be hard for us to think of our friends as being so trustworthy and close as they probably are. It’s interesting to see how Harry questions his friends’ loyalty; as a reader I was so mad at Harry for even thinking about NOT telling Ron and Hermione. But I do the same thing to my friendships often. I incorrectly assume a friendship is better with less information shared, with less at risk. Looks like this was a good lesson for me to be reminded of! Thank you, HPA! and thank you, Dumbledore!
I’m fortunate enough to have a friend whom I’ve known since we were babies, and I would trust her with my life. Hallie is totally right about it being easier to trust a person when you’ve been through a lot with them, I find it much harder to trust my other friends that I haven’t known as long. Any time I think about telling my new friends a secret some kind of mental block goes up and I don’t say anything, but that doesn’t happen with my old friend.
I was betrayed by most of my friends. But I love knowing that there are a few people that I can always turn to. Harry had the same thing with Ron and Hermione. No matter what, they were always with him and trying to help him in anyway they could, even when he didn’t want them to, or said he didn’t. I thank my close friends often and keep them close because I know to have a friend you must be a friend. I tell my friends everything because I trust them. Thanks Dumbledore for helping me to find my true friends.
I’ve only had a handful of friends like Ron and ‘Mione. The rest, in the end, never knew me for who I was. There were those I thought I could trust, and turned out I couldn’t, but my true friends, namely, my four current best friends, were there, no matter if I’d told them I was a giant man-eating ape from Pluto (since it is a planet, those scientist can all bite me) or whatever the newest drama created by my stepmom was. They were all there. So, thanks Dumbledore, for putting into words what I had trouble figuring out on my own, and thanks to Jeannz, TJ, Rachel, and Keith, for being there all this time.
I know exactly how Harry feels. I too have two best friends to confide in, but even though we have spent so much time together, shared so much, I still have this vivid fear that they will stand up, say “Well, this has been fun, but we really need to go.” And leave me forever sitting there dumbfounded. With one friend, I have known for a long time, but for the other, we met only three months ago yet we have such a close bond it is unimaginable.
I am so afraid that with my problems, I will become a bother and a burden on them.
That is the last thing I want to do to them.
With the help of the oldest friend, I have learned how to trust in people.
So now, even though the old me is scared to tell them when something goes wrong or when something goes well, I stand up straight and tell them.
For they have given me and told me so much.
I know it would be wrong to keep secrets from them both.
To you, Fox and Dodger.
My own Padfoot and Sirius. (They have bequeathed me Lupin)
I think that confiding personal feelings to a friend you can trust shows how strong you are bond together. I have a very good friend and I can tell her everything, wee have known each other since Kindergarten and wee have been best friends since then.
But it is by no means always easy to do so. I remember times when I wasn’t sure what to tell and what not to, but in the end choosing to tell makes all the difference, because you know that others you love and care fore, love you back and not only stick to you in fun but also difficult times.
I know how you feel Shealey, I have a few best friends that I’ve known for awhile and trust, but I am always scared that they’ll get bored of me and move on. That has happened to me by two people who I really deeply cared about and trusted.
I am a very private person so it is hard for me to confide in people, especially because I’m afraid I will get hurt like I did by my two friends who left. I think that we all would like to have a friendship like the trio, but I guess it helps to know that even theirs wasn’t perfect. Harry didn’t tell them everything and Ron left in the middle of Deathly Hallows. But what counts is that he realized the value in their friendship and came back. Sometimes I wish my two friends would do that as well, but as Dumbledore said, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”