It Takes a Great Deal of Bravery to Stand Up to Our Friends
The mark of a strong friendship is when both friends are looking out for each others’ best interests, even if that sometimes means standing up against something the other is doing that is wrong.
“’There are all kinds of courage,’ said Dumbledore, smiling. ‘It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom’” (SS 306).
Related to this is being able to step back and let your friends falter. I’ve had friends that have gotten mixed up in drugs and other self-destructive behaviors and myself and others had to step back and let those people hit bottom in order to help pick them back up.
We had spent so long “helping” these folks without realizing that we were enabling them. When we stepped back and let them fall, their minds were much more open to changing behavior.
It is so hard to stand up to one’s friends. Being a teacher I hear kids talk about the fear of getting in the car with someone who texts while driving, or telling a friend that their boyfriend is abusive, or even warning a close friend that they’ve had too much to drink before getting behind the wheel of a car.
That is exactly what Neville did. He stood up to Harry and the others, because he loved them enough to make sure they were all right.
Arletta,
I think letting your friends go if they are self destructive is more a function of wisdom than bravery. The “kowing” of when it is necessary is in this case more difficult, as most people who recognize self destructive behavior have their sense of self preservation kick in, making it easier to back away. What DOES require more bravery i believe is to do something CONSTRUCTIVE when someone is behaving self destructively. Anyone can back away and let their friend implode, thats the nature of self preservation. To do research, to get their friend help, even if that means doing something unpopular like going to figures of authority like parents, police or counselors and letting someone know whats going on BEFORE the friend self destructs and kills themself. Backing away and letting them do it is actually the cowards way out.
I think we have to remember that Neville was the house nerd and that Harry (at least) was cool. The Boy Who Lived, etc. Neville didn’t just stand up to his friends, he stood up to the hero of the wizarding world when he believed the hero was endangering their House. That took incredible courage. It’s hard enough to not go along with friends just to get along. It’s even harder to not go along with our “leaders” when we think they’re wrong. In that act alone, Neville proved he was in the right house. (And then, of course, he confirmed it in Deathly Hallows).
Friends are the best thing that has happened to me and I found them in the HP fandom. When I was being bullied at school and college and real life alone was hard, I found friendship and understanding on the Leaky Lounge. No one can do anything without having friends, and learning that we have to stand up to our friends as much as our enemies has really helped me find my first true real life friends at uni – all down to Dumbledore.
THE WEAPON WE HAVE IS LOVE
Peyoteboy: While I agree with most of your post, I must respectfully disagree with the last sentence. I’ve been there before–when you love someone that’s hurting themselves, backing out is hardly ever taken as lightly as it seems. It’s really, really hard to just let them go, even when it’s for the best. Now generally I’d agree with you, like if the person is suicidal–of course you want to help! But what about alcoholism? This is where my experience is, and almost every time you have to let them go. If your friend is an alcoholic and has a nasty problem but won’t acknowledge it, about eight times out of ten the only constructive thing you can do is let them fall. Trying to help them at this point doesn’t do any good, because they’re not done drinking. Generally they can’t be helped unless either it’s not that bad of a problem, they realize it, or (most of the time) they hit rock bottom. It’s very sad.
Blue_dreamer: ‘weapon’ isn’t a word that ought to be applied to love, but it’s better than any weapon I know, that’s for sure!
I feel like I must bring this up in every comment just to convey the magnitude of the feelings, but I’m a writer. I recently went through an awakening of sorts, and my whole perspective is changed. It’s wonderful. I feel so much more perceptive than I was. And I don’t think before I ever truly grasped how amazing Neville’s action was. It’s probably one of, if not the, bravest action in the book. Possibly in the top ten for the whole series.