The Harry Potter Alliance

By Andrew Slack

April 28, 2009

The Sharing of Grief

Part 2 to the Moment Dumbledore Died (below)

After Dumbledore died, my mind was immobilized. I couldn’t believe it. How could this be? Random thoughts kept entering my mind like, ‘Harry! Don’t tell Hagrid! Please don’t tell Hagrid! It will make it too real for me. For both of us!
You know what Dumbledore means to Hagrid! Don’t hurt him!’

And then of course, “Harry heard Hagrid’s moan of pain and shock” (HBP 608).

And no Harry! Please don’t tell the others! Not Ron! Dumbledore is his hero! Don’t tell Lupin! Dumbledore was not only a friend and teacher, he was the only adult who ever welcomed and trusted Lupin.

“’No!’…Lupin collapsed into a chair beside Bill’s bed, his hands over his face. Harry had never seen Lupin lose control before; he felt as though he was intruding upon something private, indecent” (HBP 614).
One by one, we watched the hearts of the people that we love break.
“Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned, Luna’s mouth trembled”…”Madam Pomfrey burst into tears”, Professor McGonagall “stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly” (HBP 614-615).

And “…unbidden, unwelcome thoughts slunk into Harry’s mind…” (HBP 621) as well my own mind.
I don’t remember crying. I only remember feeling as though I, a lightning struck reader was still immobilized on the lightning struck tower watching the wisest man I knew kneel before hoodlums and be betrayed by someone so close to him. And to know that this fierce powerful Wizard was now a “rag doll” of a corpse that flew off one of the buildings of his own school under the perverse light of the Dark Mark–it kept running through my head again and again and again.

Finally I awoke from my frightening reverie as Molly Weasley embraces Fleur around their love for Bill and cry in each other’s arms. For some reason, it was this moment, which seems at first glance so removed from Dumbledore’s death that was the impetus for my breaking down and crying. For some reason, I felt like Molly and Fleur were not only crying for the connection they felt with each other or their fear and grief over Bill. I felt that they too were crying for Dumbledore.

Crying for the man that I had spent years thinking about. The man who had always made me feel safe. The man who had always made me feel like no matter what happened in my life or in the world of Hogwarts, there was this Wizard who was kind, who was warm, who was funny, and who was always calm, unbeatable, and would make everyone safe.

And I suppose the Phoenix’s lament spoke best for how I was feeling, how we and our friends at Hogwarts were all feeling.

“Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way Harry had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. And Harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: It was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows” (HBP 614-615). Our friends at Hogwarts were listening to this together as the Phoenix expressed the grief that all of them were carrying for each other.

RESPONSE: please feel free to talk about any of these:

-Talk about how it felt for you when the members of the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore’s Army were sitting together, learning of Dumbledore’s death and holding each other in grief?
-Have you ever had to share with someone else bad news?
-Have you ever had an experience like mine where my tears about Fleur and Molly embracing was connected to my tears about Dumbledore’s passing? Please talk about that.
-What is the difference for you between having an experience where you lose someone you love and you carry that feeling by yourself – compared to an experience where you are with others who are carrying that feeling of grief with you?
-Often grief and loss can make us feel crazy, even destructive. Our friends at Hogwarts sat together mostly supporting each other. What experiences do you know of either in Harry Potter or in your own life where a loss caused people to become angry and destructive toward each other?
-Fawkes was singing a song of great lament that caused all of them to be still and listen. Have you ever felt music or some force of nature express your feelings for you?