October 1, 2008
Behind Closed Doors
My recent post deals with racism. The US is a country that is so afraid of racism that it pretends that racism doesn’t exist. Stephen Colbert parodies this by asking African American guests if they’re black. When they tell him they are, he says, “Really? ‘Cause I’m so color blind I don’t see race. I never would have known. The fact is, I don’t even know if I’m black.”
Colbert is skewering us (particularly “Papa” Bill O’Reilly) for pretending that we are a color blind nation. But most of us in the US and from other countries know that all someone needs is a pair of Extendable Ears to listen in on the racist things that families say behind closed doors. So out of curiosity, who else relates to growing up in a family with relatives that bless their hearts, despite their goodness and loving natures, expose their racism behind closed doors? Feel free to be anonymous in answering this question!
anonymous
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That’s my family in a nutshell. The hard part is that I love and respect my family so much that I don’t want to insult their pride by pointing out their intolerance to them. When I do discuss race tentatively with my mother (who is a loving person and would not intentionally do anything cruel on the basis of race, but who does hold some prejudices) the implication is that I’m young and naive and will learn that her racial prejudices are justified. So, I’m glad to hear that other people have these difficulties.
anonymous
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I know I’m not alone, but the racism “behind closed doors” has brought many problems to my family. Those closed doors being family, so some believed they could say whatever they want and be justified in some incredibly horrible statements. I know anyone who didn’t hear it for themselves could never believe some of the things said. My father has called his siblings and parents out on it and this has resulted in off and on estrangement from the family. I can’t think of one relative who hasn’t said something racist when they felt in a safe place, aside my father and stepmother. But they say things equally offensive about religious people and feel justified in the same way our other relatives feel justified in their racism.
When I was younger I decided that anyone who would say such things, regardless of how nice they are to me or their relation, isn’t a good person. It’s taken many years for me to find any respect for these people.
anonymous
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I haven’t heard racism inside my own family per say, but I have read blatant racism on YouTube and I have to admit to being shocked. I knew that racists still existed but seeing them all crawling out of the woodwork to post senseless and inflammatory comments on YouTube was shocking. (It was a video of Martin Luther King’s I Have A Dream speech and the comments have now been disabled.) I’m sure a lot of them were probably just trolls but a lot of them must have been genuine.
The half-amusing thing is the fact that people will come up with the stupidest excuses for their wrong actions and words, most of them not true, and most of the time those excuses will be along the lines of “they deserve it” or “they’re only…”. They’ll justify homophobia by making up stereotypes of them being promiscuous and homewreckers. They’ll justify hunting by steadfastly believing that animals are stupid, i.e. inferior to us, i.e. we can do whatever we want to them. And they’ll justify racism for believing things like (as someone on YouTube believed) they’re only good for pop culture, not intelligence-requiring things like science or medicine or inventing, which they believe makes them inferior and us superior white people can do what we will to them.
Sorry for the rant but it really grates on my nerves.
anonymous
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I forgot to add that the people who think that black people are not good at things like science or medicine or inventing should take note of the fact that the first open heart surgery was performed by a black surgeon.
Anonymous
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saying that The first -insert thing- was done by a person of color is just fuel for racists. there are racists on all sides of the spectrum.
anonymous
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That’s true.
anonymous
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Yeah, that’s true. (I’m the person who posted it btw, it’s hard to tell when we’re all anonymous.)
Anonymous
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I have experienced this secret prejudice within my own family. But not towards race. My mother has always been extremely accepting of others no matter what their race or religion. I was completely shocked one day when my mother said that while she is for homosexual couples to have the same rights as a married man or woman, she doesn’t feel that a union between a homosexual couple should be labeled a “marriage.” I was floored. I’m still floored. She claimed that it’s a different kind of love and should is not comparable to the love shared between a man and a woman. I couldn’t fathom how she came to this conclusion. She is not naive, we have people that are practically family that are a homosexual couple and she has never expressed any form of distaste regarding their relationship. I’ve always considered love to be something that is above being labeled based upon the parties involved. And a legal union of two people in love should not be put into categorical piles of marriages versus unions. She doesn’t understand when I tell her a label should never be placed on love. I guess this is one instance were we will have to agree to disagree.
Anonymous
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Shoo, I live in Kentucky, and there isnt “secret” racism. Its right there in the open. In my family, its definently less prevalent in its openness. My mother says she “just doesnt like Obama”, she said she cant explain it. Whatever. This is the same woman who says she just loves Palin. Gross. Gross. Gross.
Anonymous
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My grandmother is like that… and the sad thing is she really doesn’t know or think, would be a better word, that she a racists.
Chris F.
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It’s a curious thing growing up in my eclectic family. Half of it is white – mixed between German and English decent – while the other side is purely Mexican. I grew up without a bias to either race, since I was so constantly surrounded by different skins and cultures (I didn’t really develop a consciousness to the hatred and bigotry there was until the latter half of my adolescence).
I’ve heard the typical stereotypes on both sides. “Those Mexicans are coming into Texas in droves and ruining our neighbourhoods,” or, “Dios mios, los gringos are trying to use their ‘fancy politics’ to keep from expressing ourselves.” On the flip side, I have a grandmother who dealt with being denied an education in a decent school due to her race, yet never complains. I believe I’m quite fortunate, though, for being in an interracial family, in as much as I can bridge the gap between races to the point where the difference between them is a non-issue to me. I can truly view the world in with an unbiased perspective.
Anonymous
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I live in a town that is about 95% white. We are all seen as racists, so not many minority people, especially blacks will move here. In the past few years, little by little we have become more diverse.
We really aren’t more racist than any other city. Everyone I know believes in equal rights, but we also believe stereotypes, because not many of us actually knows people from other races on a personal level.